Kinda Skanky, But Mostly Harmless

Setting the stage: I was recently in San Francisco attending a conference. I have a high-school friend who lives here, and I was able to crash on his couch. On the second night I was in town we went out to dinner (had some nice Mexican food) and then went out for a beer at a bar near his house. It was the kind of bar that is good for watching sports, as it wasn't too busy, there were plenty of TVs, there was a good beer selection, and smoking isn't allowed. Sitting area in the front, pool tables in a separate room in the back, bar in another room off to the left.

As we sat down, we were (of course) checking out the ladies around the place. I'm married, but he's single, and I'm happy to do whatever I can to help him hook up. There were the usual assortment of ladies that one might expect to find in such an establishment. Some were sporty, some were spicy, some were dolled up, some were dressed down. There was one lady who had a prominent tramp stamp (in case you're unfamiliar with this term, this is the tattoo across the base of the back), and was very willing to show it off. Kinda skanky, but mostly harmless...we immediately dubbed her "Tramp Stamp."

The evening wears on...we're not actually interacting with any of the ladies...we're simply sitting, chatting, and drinking our beers. A group of what I assume are English rugby players came into the bar and started drinking, hitting on the ladies, and generally being louts. I assume that they are English rugby players because there are about 10 relatively rugged looking guys all wearing the exact same shirt (which said, "I'm kind of a big deal in England" on the front, and "People Know Me" on the back). The only other people I've ever interacted with in the past who displayed similar pack behavior were my brother's rugby teammates. As with "Tramp Stamp", they were kinda skanky, but mostly harmless.

As the evening wore on, and the beer continued to flow, I found that I had to visit the men's room. I had been there earlier in the evening, and knew that it was off of the room with the pool-tables. It was a small room, with two urinals, a sink and a booth - all crammed into a room half the size of a normal sized walk-in closet. Pretty non-descript...if you've been in a bar restroom, then you know that it was pretty skanky, but mostly harmless (as long as you don't touch too much). So, I go into the bathroom, first urinal's open but the second is occupied. I take up my position at the urinal and notice that something's not right. The guy to my left is lingering a bit too long, if you know what I mean. At first, I thought it was something to do with me, and I started plotting my escape strategy (as I was closest to the door, I figured I could get away before anything too bad happened). But then it occurred to me that he wasn't lingering for me, he was lingering because of what was happening in the booth. One of the rugby guys was standing in the booth with the door closed, but something was off...he was standing much too far back from the toilet to be doing anything normally associated with that area. I started to hear noises not normally associated with that area of the bathroom, and I realized that what you might expect to be happening in there was actually happening. I didn't see the lady that was involved, but the guy was looking right at me...I assume he was looking for validation for what was happening because he gave me a slight nod (also known as the "dude nod") and started saying things to the lady that are too impolite to restate here. At this point, the lady stands up from doing what a lady normally doesn't do on her knees in a men's room and turns around to do a second thing that a lady doesn't normally do in a men's room...I realize, with absolutely no surprise, that it's "Tramp Stamp."

I leave the restroom, slightly dazed, and wondering what to do from there. I'm not really interested in sticking around to observe the walk of shame as it's becoming pretty obvious that most everyone else in the bar is now aware of what's happening. But we're not done with our drinks yet, and we haven't paid, so we can't simply walk out (which would have been awkward anyway, because my friend had no idea what was happening). We sit around, finish our beers as my friend becomes aware of what's going on (mostly because I told him, but also from the buzz in the room). We didn't hurry, but we didn't dawdle either. We left the bar without seeing either "Tramp Stamp" or the rugby dude again.

As I walked back to his place, I thought about what I'd just witnessed (although, that's not really the right word as I didn't actually see anything other than an awkward "dude nod" and a lady standing up and turning around). I can't shake the question, if you were that girl, would you wake up disgusted with yourself, or is that a normal Monday evening for "Tramp Stamp"? It makes me very sad to think that the answer to either of those questions is yes...

Time Warp

This morning, I was on a flight...the kind of flight that leaves before the sun rises and lands sometime after. This is the kind of flight that has been my life for nearly two years now...the kind of flight that I usually sleep through...the kind of flight that is like every other flight. A couple pretty girls, a couple loud guys, a couple older couples, a couple clueless travelers...

Except for one thing. As I was getting up to leave, I looked ahead of me. About 10 rows up, there was a little boy. He couldn't have been more than 8 or 9 years old. And he was wearing an honest to goodness coonskin cap. It had the tail and everything.

In that instant of recognition, I had the distinct feeling of being in a time warp. As if someone had taken a drop of 1950's Americana and had placed it on the film of my life. The drop wasn't big enough to destroy the film, but it was big enough to burn a hole in that frame. In that hole, a pin was placed that highlights that memory. That's not to say that I'll never forget that kid and his anachronistic hat, but it means that the flight was different, and that's something I've been searching for. For that, I thank that kid.

This Saddens Me

This may seem like a small thing, but this story from the LA Times really makes me sad: http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-sci-romanov11-2009mar11,0,2718194.story

The main point of the story is that DNA evidence has now pretty conclusively proven that all of the Rominov family was killed in 1918. Of course, many people will know that there has been an enduring legend of surviving children (Anastasia and Alexei). Using modern DNA techniques, it has now been shown that those two children did not survive the assault.

The reason this saddens me is that it removes some of the mystery involved with life. These kinds of little mysteries are really interesting to me, and, although we say that we want to know the answers, it's always a bit disappointing when these answers come out.

Facebook

I've recently signed up for Facebook. I'm not a huge fan of social networking, because I think that most of the people that I want to keep in touch with, I've kept in touch with in other ways. That being said, however, I think that I'm having a blast. Not for the reason that most would think though. Yes, there is some great fun in catching up with people I've not thought about in forever, however, the best thing for me is to think about the interactions that are happening.

You see, I have trouble remember many of the people who are asking to be my friends, and I have even greater trouble figuring out how much I impacted those people. This is why I feel pretty awkward asking people to be my friend, especially if I barely knew them in the past...do they remember me? Do they ever think about me? Do they think back to their past interactions with me and think well of me?

I don't mean to sound overly self-conscious. At the end of the day, I don't really care what these people think of me now, but it's interesting to think about the inequality in the power dynamic our our relationship. I'm certain that there are people who remember me more than I remember them, just as there are people whom I remember more than remember me...I'd just like to know who is whom...

Lunch with Friends

I got together with a few friends for lunch today. These are guys that I haven't really kept in close touch with over the past few years, but at one time we were really close. It was nice to catch up, although it's always a little bit weird to try and catch up with people who you knew much better a long time ago.

This could, potentially, grow into a semi-regular kind of thing, or it could fall apart entirely and be another five years before I see them again. I sincerely hope that it is the former...

More than two years since my last post...wow. In some ways it feels like less time, but in others it feels like much, much longer.

I'm going to try to post more regularly from here out. We'll see how that goes...

I went to the Celtics/Lakers game last night. Absolutely fantastic game...tight the entire way through, well played, plus the Lakers won, so all and all a good night. My brother came up, so we were able to see the game together. All of these things put together made for a very memorable night.

Reminiscing

I'm sitting here grading some papers, and listening to some music. It's amazing the ability of good music to transport you to specific times in your past. I've got my iTunes on shuffle, and in the past hour I've been back to highschool (to dance with my first girlfriend), I've been back to my wedding (to dance with my last girlfriend), I've visited old friends, I've remembered meals that I've had, I've relived bad (yet somehow endearing) memories, I've seen people and places that I had thought I'd forgotten.

The idea that memory fades has always fascinated me, but as long as I've got my iPod and a few hours, I can revisit vacations past and it's just as powerful as it was at that point...