A Confession

Here's something I'm not too proud of...

Excluding family members and my wife, I've been told "I love you" by seven women in my life. Five of these women, I was dating at the time, so it was fairly natural to say that I loved them as well, and with some of them I might actually have meant it. The part that I'm not too proud of deals with the other two women. I was friendly with both of these ladies, but not romantic, and I laughed at both of them when they said it. Imagine how hurtful that must be to lay yourself out with that kind of honest and have it kicked back at you with a smug laugh.

Partly, my laugh was a nervous response to not knowing what else to do, but partly it was out of genuine bemusement...I didn't have a very high self-opinion when I was younger, and it was funny that anyone would say what they said to me, let alone someone who didn't "have" to because we were dating. This, of course, is not an attempt to minimize my role in the outcomes, but rather to add some perspective...after all, in both these cases, I was in my late teens early twenties when it happened - not a time known for boys to be very grown up. Regardless, I feel bad to this day for laughing at these two ladies when they opened themselves up to me.

The oddest part of this whole situation, however, is that I'm still friends with both of them (and, yes, before anyone gets righteously indignant, I've apologized to both of them on numerous occasions). The other five women I don't keep in touch with...